The Looney Tunes Show - Chintzy

The Looney Tunes Show - Chintzy

This Merrie Melodie can be found in the episode the shelf.


Daffy gives Porky his gift giving guidelines.


Porky: Happy Birthday Daffy!

Daffy: [gasps]

Porky: Do you like it?

Daffy: (song begins) You've given me a birthday gift,

                       you've really given my day a lift.

Oh, wow! A childhood photo of you and me...

But I have to tell you something now,

and I'm trying to find the words how,

while you're gift was thoughtful it was also Chintzy.

I can remedy the situation, 

and you can avoid future humiliation,

if you would just follow these gift giving guidelines.

Buy me something made of solid gold,

cause this homeade sweater leaves me cold

Think in terms of things that are expensive.

A coffee mug that says "my best friend,"

will find a new home in my trash bin,

and if you knit me a scarf, I'll bury it in the backyard.

Now pay attention, Chintzy, Chintzy, Chintzy, Chintzy, not Chintzy!

Chintzy, Chintzy, Chintzy, VERY Chintzy!

This gift has a hot date with my shredder.

Buy me a jacuzzi filled with caviar,

or a diamond encrusted rocket car.

And when in doubt, try a briefcase full of money.

Try to STAY AWAY from arts and crafts

I don't wan't your homemade bubble-bath

And cookies are better, when they're made by professionals.

By me a ranch with 1000 long horn steers,

or a mansion filled with crystal chandeliers.

An M60A3 army tank,

would be met with heartfelt thanks,

because that would be something I could drive through the supermarket.

Porky: Oh, I get it!

Porky/Daffy: Chintzy, chintzy, chintzy, chintzy, Not chintzy.

Daffy: Good!

Porky/Daffy: Chintzy, chintzy, chintzy, chintzy,

Porky: Very chintzy.

Daffy: Yes! That's why I'm setting fire to the photo you gave me. So! I'm glad I can help you out,This is what friendship's all about. But the next gift that you bring should require a trailer. So before a new day dawns, maybe cash in your savings bonds, and buy me a present . . . that is not . . . CHINTZY-------------Y! 

Porky: Whew! 

Daffy: Ahem.You still owe me a birthday present.